New Chapter?


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I am currently a senior in high school with 3 months of school left. The future that has always been so far away in my head is literally coming next fall when I begin going to a university and truly figuring out what I do to be and be and create in the world. It used to scare me. Now I’ve never been more excited in my life. I’m ready to experience it all, new relationships, challenges, and self-discovery. So much of human life is spent trying to figure out what’s next, what makes them happy, and who they want to have around while they’re on the dang journey. I’m starting a new chapter and I can’t wait to have a new looming destination. Something that both scares and excites me.

Right now I’m jamming to tame impala, sitting in bed with an overwhelming need to do. Whatever that means. So I decided to type out a little blog post. So I’ll talk about myself and what’s been going on. On January 31st everything that I have been working so hard towards since high school began and maybe even earlier paid off. I was accepted into my first choice university. Now I have to do is finish this slow crawl towards the end of high school and this new chapter will officially have begun. All that’s left is grad bash and prom. And then of course graduation.  I will actually try to blog more now.


P.S. thanks for reading:)

Please Think for Yourself

I think being in high school it’s so easy to get caught up in other people and be influenced by the things around you. Even I’m influenced by other people and it shows in the way I talk. Certain words I use or gestures. But it is so important to me to not just follow along with everything everyone else is doing. And I don’t even think that’s peer pressure. I think it’s just going through the motions and not giving anything thought. If all of your friends dislike someone for whatever reason you might feel inclined to not neccessarily dislike that person but to not be open to liking them. 

The biggest thing I see now is what people see as fun. People think going to parties and smoking weed and drinking must show that your having a great time. But I am having the most fun just chilling at home with my friends watching movies and just talking and being silly. So when I think about smoking or drinking I just think, well what’s the point? And maybe the reason I don’t know is because I’ve never tried it but I’m not so curious to find out because it doesn’t necessarily make people look good either. And I’m pretty vain. I like to look good if I’m being honest. And parties? Maybe they are fun but the only reason I go is so I have a reason to go shopping for a dress and shoes. And my thoughts and opinions of these things shouldn’t affect your thoughts and opinions if you enjoy smoking weed and drinking and partying. Like you do you. But don’t do it for other people or because that’s what is supposed to be fun for people. 

I think I’ve gotten my point across right? Just don’t do things because you think it’s the correct thing to do, do it because it’s something you want to do. Anyways, just a random thought:)


Things I’m unsure of

  1. What my future career will be
  2. If anyone actually loves me as much as I love them
  3. Why everyone NEEDS attention at all times (me included)
  4. If I’m too prideful 
  5. Why I’m still the biggest procrastinator of this planet
  6. How I feel about college
  7. Boys
  8. Happiness
  9. Loneliness 
  10. My ability to succeed

Just a couple things and it’s something I just want out into the universe. It’s not something I want to explain. I want to put it out and hopefully find answers to this all in time. Although these are things that cross my mind and sometimes stay in my mind longer than I want, I don’t think it’s the kind of pressing issues that I should allow myself to worry about. Nonetheless I still do worry about them. And they probably hold me back from possible peace. But right now I’m just taking baby steps. 

Lately I’ve been trying something new. Even though my parents probably wouldn’t agree with it, even when I know I have a bunch of work and upcoming things pressing down on me, sometimes I need a breather and some time to myself. So what I’ve started doing is just putting all the stress to the side and doing whatever it is that I would rather be doing, whether that’s reading, watching Netflix, or finding new music. There’s days where I just feel like staying up super late into the night, even on a school night, and just doing work and taking that extra time in peace with just myself. Tonight is one of those nights. I have an outline to start that’s due tomorrow and I probably should study for math. But tonight is just gonna be all me. Late into the night, no pressure, no panic, just work, music, and peace. 



A New Lesson



Something I always preach is that you should always be nice to people and make your friends feel appreciated. But what I didn’t think about was making sure that your friends make you feel appreciated as well. It is something so important because you have to realize that you are a privilege to be around. The moment that you think of yourself that way, you can decide who is actually deserving of your love and personality. I find myself going out of my way for people who probably wouldn’t do the same for me. So whats the point?

So I change my motto. Make your friends that you know are true friends and truly deserving feel appreciated. Give them all of you. You personality, your love, and you time because you know that they would do the same for you , no question about it.


P.S. Its been a while since I’ve blogged, sorry about that. It has been a long period of writers block.

I Don’t Know What to Blog

It’s been three months and every time I start to type something I delete it. Every time I think an idea is good I lose interest in it. My mind couldn’t be blanker than it is right now. so I’ll just make this a random update. I bought a camera. It’s a canon T5 rebel. Also it’s a new year. I had to give my dog away, which is probably the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever done. I went on a college trip. I got married in school. I’m getting foot surgery pretty soon(I have flat feet). My best friends surprised me a few weeks ago. I don’t like my math teacher. I made oatmeal yesterday. and lastly, I’m going to a carnival tonight. Have a good Valentines day tomorrow:)



The “meh” feeling

It’s been weird these last few weeks. I feel happy during the first few hours of school but it slowly dwindles and then I go home feeling not sad but just meh. I’m not really sure why I’m feeling this way but it’s been weighing on me and it’s so annoying. I think I just need a change in routine maybe. I just want out of this funk.

People Don’t Have Nearly Enough Sympathy for Others

Last Tuesday I participated in a peanut butter and jelly drive at my school. It was meant to help feed homeless men in a men’s shelter. So I was super excited for this drive because it looked fun and I needed hours and because obviously it would feel good knowing that I helped someone. 

The thing about this drive is that everyone was divided into teams and whichever team made the most sandwiches got the most hours. That was the biggest mistake the teachers running the drive could have done. In my team we had one side that put jelly on bread and the other side put peanut butter. And then at the ends of the table we had kids bagging sandwiches. I was a bagger. The whole thing was fun and my team won. The thing that made me mad about this was that students became way too inconsiderate about the way they made the sandwiches. Here are some of the things that really made me want to pull out my hair and slap someone silly:

•The students started to not even try to fill in the bread pieces comepletely, there would be a circle of spread in the middle of bread and they would decide that that was sufficient enough.

• Next they didn’t even try to put the bread on evenly so the half of the breads would meet and that would be it.

• They were so rough with the bread that they didn’t care if they accidentally stuck a few fingers straight through the bread.

• Lastly a phrase that really got me angry and that I heard way to often during this was “they’ll eat it” as if that was good enough excuse to give someone food in the condition they were in. And it wasn’t even just students who said that. You would think adults would be wise enough to think about the fact that these were people we were feeding. Not just some animals on a street, but actual living and starving people and we can’t even put in the small effort of giving them a decent sandwich. 

I even dismissed someone from helping me bag sandwiches because he literally can over grabbed a sandwich and just smushed it into a bag like it was nothing. I yelled at him to go away and “I got this”. And the dumbest thing he said was “I don’t even think they’re going to eat it anyways”. And this is the part where I shake my head at the people in which I live around. Because the way I have been raised is that you appreciate everything that is given to you. And I have always been aware and conscious that there are people in the world struggling and who need help. It just seems second nature to feel that sympathy for them and want to help. So when I went to this food drive and I saw how uncompassionate and inconsiderate people were being I could not believe it. And I’m still pretty angry about it all. I’ve decided to talk to the teachers running it and ask them to not make it a competition next year because I want to participate but I’m scared I might end up fighting the next person who gives me a messed up sandwich to bag. Please people of the world reading this be aware and sympathetic of the people struggling in the world and don’t be like the people I just described. 


~P.S. There were some people who actually cared but not enough

When People Say They Don’t Like Reading


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I don’t think it’s honestly possible to not like reading. When people say that, I do an immediate eye roll. To me there is no such thing as not liking reading, there is only not liking reading certain books or things. But anyone can find a book that they can enjoy. I just think it’s a big overstatement. The people who say this are people who just don’t read at all or the only books they ever attempted to read were the ones teachers forced us all to read. But for me reading is apart of my lifestyle. I think everyone has something that they can’t mentally live without. For some people it’s a camera if they are into photography, or movies, or something given to them sentimentally, or music, or if they’re like me, books. 

Right now it’s 9:52 at night that I’m typing this out and I feel like doing a book tag because why not? I decided to do the creatures of the night book tag because Halloween is  right around the corner. So here it goes:


My favorite vampire is Mr. Crepsley from the Cirque Du Freak series. That series is one of my childhood favorites. Mr. Crepsley was definitely one of my favorite characters from that series.


My favorite werewolf is Luke from the mortal instruments series. I don’t read many werewolf books and he’s the nicest werewolf I can think of. 


I haven’t read any zombie books. The closest thing to it is the cranks from the maze runner and I hated them so I don’t really have any choice for this one.


My favorite ghosts are the love bad ones from the book all the lovely bad ones by Mary downing Hahn. Her books are super creepy and I love every one that I have read.


My favorite for this is Magnus from the mortal instruments series. Him and Alec were the cutest thing ever and I loved them together.


My favorite fae is in the throne of glass series and their name will not be named for fear of spoiling others. 


My favorite demon is Sophie mercer from the hex hall series. She’s the only demon I know about and I really enjoyed the series. 


My favorite angel is the patch from the hush, hush series. He is actually a fallen angel but it’s close enough.


My favorite alien is Evan from the fifth wave series. He’s the only alien I can think of and he’s a great character even though he’s always sacrificing himself for everyone *eyeroll*

Superpowered Human

For sure my favorite superpowered human is Chubs from the darkest minds trilogy. He is so sarcastic and hilarious. 

So that’s it. This made me realize that I should read more books with more variety in supernatural creatures. Anyways hope you enjoyed:)


Birthday Memories


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My birthday was back in September and it was one of my favorites. It was the first time in about three years that I had a birthday party. The best part of my birthday party was that my best friend wasn’t able to come at first but two days before the party we were able to convince her mom to drive her down an hour and 40 minutes to my house(biggest shock of my life). The party itself was super fun and I was over the moon. When people first came we decorated mugs with sharpies. Then we played the Oreo challenge where you put an Oreo on your forehead and try to get it into your mouth using only your face muscles. I wasn’t able to do it-.-

After that we played dare pong. That is basically beer pong but instead of beer in the cups we put dares. So we split into two teams and took turns throwing the ball into the other teams cups to get them to have to do a dare. And each persons name was on two cups. Some of the dares was drinking a tablespoon of hot sauce, putting ice in your bra, saying the alphabet backwards, drawing a face on your stomach, chugging a soda, and other stuff that I can’t remember. 

The next challenge we did was absolutely disgusting. So what we did was get a paper plate and put five cherries on it. Then we covered the cherries comepletely with whip cream. Everyone got their own plates and had to try and find all five of their cherries. Honestly it was the grossest thing I’d ever done. Two of my friends decided it would be nice smash a plate of whip cream in my face. Basically there was a lot of cleaning up at this party. 

The last thing we did was a quiz to see who knew me best. I don’t even remember who won but it was funny seeing everyone’s guilty faces when they couldn’t think of an answer for a question as if I would be mad. After that, to finish off the night we watched a movie and continued decorating mugs. 

It was a pretty awesome birthday and I couldn’t have been more happy and grateful for my gifts. My favorites were two posters, one of Robert Downey Jr. (The celebrity I admire the most) and one of Jon Bellion (my favorite music artist). The only thing I ever want on my birthdays is being able to spend time with all the people I love and I was able to do so and that was super cool.  


It’s a Friday Night

It’s a Friday night and I’m lying on the couch watching YouTube in the dark, with my dog in his bed, and hearing the rain outside all my windows fall. There is so many other things I could be doing right now. I could be watching my schools play. I could go out and watch movies with my friends. I could be doing hw that is due in three days. I could switch out the load of clothes in the washing machine with a new one (I should actually). But right now I’m just enjoying this peaceful evening. And it’s so nice. I haven’t posted anything in such a long time and it’s mainly due to lack of confidence  in my ability but also because I haven’t felt this way in a while. I haven’t felt this sense of peace in a while. I haven’t been comepletely alone (aside from my dad in his room) in the silence and company of my own thoughts in a pretty long time. And it’s not like I’ve been having a horrible time. I’ve been having an equal amount of fun and stress at the same time.

Last Saturday was my school homecoming and I had a ball. And during that whole week was spirit week and I definitely enjoyed planning out my outfits and going to pep rally’s and powder puff games (girl flag football). I also joined environmental club and that was surprisingly fun as well. We go to our schools butterfly garden and plant stuff basically. It’s funny because a lot of us are girls so when there is a bug my teacher dares us to touch it and hold it. This includes a lot of squealing and begging him to get the bug away. I really like my environmental teacher because he is old but he makes a lot of sarcastic jokes and he has a parrot. 

 Here are some pictures from environmental club:

   The stress part of all of this has of course been school. Because the plan has been straight A’s and things aren’t going to plan and that isn’t okay for me right now. I want to hold a report card in my hands that says straight A’s and has my name on it and that’s it. Nothing more and nothing less. But thank everything above that I have three more quarters of school to get it. So the plan is still on.

So as a whole things are pretty great. Junior year has been great to me. This is the first school year that I feel like I’ve gotten involved in school and have really enjoyed high school like it should be enjoyed. So I’m going to continue enjoying my night and maybe I can convince my dad to take me to get a sausage biscuit from McDonald’s.


P.s. * an hour later* we went to chick-fil-a and their chicken sandwich was bomb. Loved it.